I'm a bit of a freak. Cue snide remarks and knowing smirks. I aspire to great things. I want to have a ridiculously clean house. I want an offwhite carpet throughout, that has a deep pile, so that when you hoover it, it makes track marks. I want beautiful cushions on my sofas that aren't used to balance a dinner plate on, or heaven forbid, used to support you back when sitting. I want them purely for aesthetic purposes, to lie big and plump in specific corners of the couch. I want the bathroom never to be used, and constantly smelling of disinfectant, with a fluffy white hand towel that stays on the towel rail and is never used as a makeshift bath mat. I want the beds to be made all the time - I mean, what's wrong with sleeping on the floor? I hear it's good for your back.. it's a win win, really. I want a laundry room that is kept separate from the house, so that I need never see any washing, and I want 6 oompa loompas to wash, iron and put away all the laundry that seems to magically appear every 5 minutes.
But, until I have all those things, I've found a solution to the never ending tedium that is the housework. Up until now, I've struggled to achieve any kind of decent, presentable home. I've at least come to terms with the fact that as long as I live with Robbie and the ladies, I have NO chance of achieving the kind of orderly home I aspire to. And I'm quite happy to live alongside these lovely people, so that's ok.
The solution is getting up at 5.30am. Extreme? Yes. But it's the only time that the house is quiet and child free. I can get on with things, without a little person hanging on my leg/chest/hair/... (NOT chesthair... thank you...) And there's something magical about having some time in the day all to yourself.
Of course, the alternative solution, and the one that's probably not so extreme, is to get off my heaving ass in the evening after the ladies go to bed. But I'm afraid that's just not possible. The lure of the couch and my dirty cushions and tv covered in fingerprints is just too strong to resist..