Sunday, 1 March 2009

Why I've been AWOL.

So. I've not been blogging. Cos I've been really busy. Doing three things, mainly.

1. I've been thinking about how I would spend my millions if I were to win the lottery. Which is funny cos I don't ever play the lottery, yet that important fact doesn't seem to hamper my dream that I would in fact have a pretty good chance of winning.

I would go on a cruise with Robbie (if Fabio weren't available). I guess we'd have to take the kids. I'd take a nanny though (who no doubt would sell her story to the papers in a couple of years time, and say what a bitch I was and how she couldn't bear to live in my house cos I kept it so clean and tidy all the time it made her feel uncomfortable. And yes - the papers would print her story cos we'd be really famous for being so rich.)

Anyway - I'd take a cruise, bugger off all round the world and see everything worth seeing, and then I'd buy a nice wee house somewhere sunny, and buy myself jewels. Big jewels. Like the kind that Richard Burton bought for Elizabeth Taylor. HUGE. And I wouldn't do any more housework. Well - I wouldn't be able to lift my hands due to the sheer enormity of the diamonds adorning my knuckles.

2. I've been looking at maps. I'm a geek. I LOVE maps. Even when I was wee, I thought it was amazing to look at maps and see where I lived in relation to everywhere else. And I LOVE Google maps. I stumbled upon it about 8 months ago, and was LOVING the street views. Seriously - if you haven't looked... you need to. Magic. It's like you're walking down the street, and you can look all about... And I also came across another website that showed a bird's eye view of my wee house and I got the biggest thrill when I looked in to my back garden and saw that I had a washing hanging out to dry. I could see my laundry, flapping in the wind. And then I realised that I wasn't only a geek for loving maps, but that I had no life. Cos if you feel a thrill seeing your washing hanging on a washing line on the world wide web, then there's clearly something amiss.

3. I've been endeavoring to get myself a life. Cos daydreaming about having diamond encrusted hands and being followed by the paparazzi, while looking at maps clearly is evidence of someone needing some interests.


Jen said...

You can seriously see your own backyard complete with washing? That is amazing. And frightening.

And it's nice to have you back.

And if you win the lotto, I'll be your nanny when you take that cruise. I'm sure I could give the papers a REALLY good story, and then you'd be even more famous!

(If I'm your nanny on the cruise, do I have to actually WATCH the kids? Cause that doesn't sound very fun...)

Beeswax said...

The lotto isn't interesting to me, but the maps are. I have always loved maps. I had maps posted up all over my college dorm room, which now that I think of it, might explain why I never got any action.

My husband enjoys the google maps, too. It seems we were made for each other.

Melissa Bastow said...

Why just go on a cruise when you can buy a yacht? Really. With whole tons of servants who can polish your jewelry WHILE it's on your fingers. Also, I bet you could have as many maps as you want then.

I'm just sayin'.

Julie said...

Glad your back! I've been blogged out for a time too. I wish I could say it was because I won the lottery too!

Maike said...

I'm soo glad I'm not the only one going AWOL. I had such good intentions and then shwoop just out the window! I haven't even looked at other people's blogs cause of the guilt feelings that would no doubt wash over me...