Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Good and bad Karma.

So now that I have a couple of hours ‘to myself’ each afternoon (which actually only an hour and a half, after you count travel time to and from school) I thought I’d do all the cleaning things that you can’t really do with the kids about. 

So I cleaned out my oven.  Who knows that last time that baby got a good cleaning.  Probably the last time my MIL was up.  She seems to be able to find stuff to clean that I have overlooked..  I think it’s a talent.  Or maybe before that.  Cos I found a couple of charred crinkle cut chips in the back.  And I honestly can’t remember the last time I bought those.

Just as I was getting in to it, scrubbing away all the residue built up from so many weeks/months/years, I broke the glass panel on the inside of the oven door.

Which leads me to another point.  I read somewhere that when something bad happens, it’s a good stress reliever to swear.  Don’t go asking me to support that theory with references.  I can’t remember.  All I know is that it was tried and tested.  And while I’m not sure if I was feeling less stress after my tirade of potty mouthed words, the words used certainly captured the feelings and sentiments of the moment.

Lesson learned?  That oven could’ve gone a few more weeks/months/years without a good clean.  Cleaning can be destructive.  Therefore, evil.


On another note, it was the eldest’s Easter service at school today. 

I didn’t go.

Don’t start judging.  At least til I give reasons that you may judge more harshly.

I didn’t want to go.  Plain and simple.  It was in the afternoon.  I’d just got the younger two off to nursery.  The minister bloke that goes to the service is boring.  And he dyes his hair black.  Which disturbs me.  Cos maybe he’s an Elvis impersonator in his spare time.  And it’s always really busy.  And hot.  And the parents are noisy.  Seriously.

But – I did use my time wisely.  I tried fixing our car’s windscreen wipers.  And I bought bread.  Umm….. and I cleaned out the washing machine….  And I phoned a garage.

And am I glad that I didn’t go.  Karma was good to me.  As pay back from the oven incident, I managed to avoid the STENCH of bums and pits at the Easter Service.  I kid you not.  When I went to the school to collect Eilidh, I passed through the hall where the service had been held.  And it was REEKING.  I couldn’t have imagined having to sit through that for an hour while having to inhale the bodily odours from a couple of manky, smelly parents. 

And also, cos the oven’s not working I got to give the kids a McDonalds meal without feeling too guilty about contributing to their childhood obesity.


Thursday, 25 March 2010


The Egg is now at nursery.  I now have 2 hours every afternoon to myself.

Though, in my first half hour of freedom, I have found myself ‘celebrating’ by watching an episode of Dynasty.  Just cos it’s not Waybuloo or In the Night Garden.  But then I got sidetracked playing on Facebook and when I looked up at the tv again, there was some shot with an old guy, with what seemed like a really bad hair piece, kissing this haggard looking woman.  Open mouthed, dirty kiss.  I thought he had lock jaw.  I actually felt sick.  Turned out it wasn’t Dynasty anymore, but some show called Roses are for the Rich.

Maybe I’m not so good on my own.

Meh…. who am I kidding!??!?!  Yeehhaaaa, baby!  All the things I can do!!

Well – right now I’ll put away laundry and I may even put my ipod on. 

Yeah.  I know how to live.

Monday, 15 March 2010

Hello, Windows Live Writer.

You appeal to my lazy side. 

Ok, to suggest I have more than one side to me is silly.  I’m lazy.  From all sides..

I’m so lazy that when I was at the gym the other night, I’d convinced myself that 15 mins on the cross trainer, then a 5 minute run would more than suffice.  After all, I had to hurry home.  We were phoning in chinese food.

When I got on the treadmill, and roughly 2 minutes in (the time where I think I’m going to cough up my right lung) i was about to slow it down to an easy amble, when my trainer walked by. 

And this weird need to please rose within me.  It’s a weird thing I have, this need to please.  Anyhoo – it took hold and made me run a little longer.  Just until she was finished talking to the person next to my treadmill.

Ok – so she talked for 20 minutes.   And I was dying a death.  But did I show her.  I showed her that I was sticking to my programme.  She’ll be so pleased with me when it’s time to go back for my ‘check –in’.

So I thought I’d go for a wee swim after.  A couple of lengths and I was ready for a warm up in the jacuzzi.  Of course, you know she came to check the pool and got talking to someone in there too.

Yes – I had to keep swimming til she was finished.  Yes, I was cursing my irrational behaviour.  And after 45 minutes, I was beginning to judge her for talking too much.

Those prawn crackers tasted so good by the time I got home…

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

I know I'm lucky/fortunate..selfish?

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but my beautiful girl, (the first born in the wilderness) has Asperger's.  Her assessment came just before she started school, but since then she has learned ways of dealing with her 'issues'.  To today, where you would be hard pushed to associate the label of Asperger's with Eildh.

She is a beautiful, talented, sensitive and loving child.  I know that we're lucky that she's part of our family.

When I was dropping Hannah off at nursery today, which is next to Eilidh school, there was a boy, about 10 years old, being held by the head teacher, as he was sobbing and shouting.  I think he was trying to run away.  The head teacher (who obviously knows Eilidh and has had meetings with me about her and her 'condition') looked at me and said

"You could have it a lot worse."

And that upset me.  Because, she's right.  Eilidh could be a lot less functioning.  She could have extreme signs of this condition.  She could struggle at school, and I think I would struggle to help her. 

And then I felt guilty.  Guilty that I felt relieved, that I wasn't the mother having to come to the school to help my crying child. 

And then I feel guilty at feeling grateful for my beautiful girls.  The girls that I know I moan about, who are naughty and headstrong, but at the same time, loving and kind and healthy.  I continually forget about perspective.  And how lucky I am.

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

I'm famous.

Really - I am!

Check here!! Thank you Tina!!!

Also in today's news. I'm thinking of buying myself a defibrillator. Cos at this rate, these kids are going to give me a heart attack, and it's better to be proactive, than reactive, right?

And I'm not talking about the time I took Eggy to ASDA to get some shopping, and she was screaming the place down, to the point were folk were offering sweets to her, and giving me pitiful looks.

Nor am I talking about the time that the kids were on a go slow. They couldn't be bothered walking the length of themselves. In the snow. Just after a murder had taken place at the aforementioned ASDA, and there was a news team trying to interview me to find out what I thought of the mindless shooting in the car park.. When, rather selfishly, all I could think about, was hijacking their news van and driving myself home.

Nor am I referring to the time we went to Pizza Hut for lunch, and instead of getting the Caesar Salad, I ended up with a near stomach ulcer and the longing for the ability to be invisible. (Actually, if I was wishing for things, that would probably end up on the bottom of the list, after perfectly behaved kids and the ability to embarrass Jillian Michaels with my super strength and svelteness.) All because of one screaming child in a high chair, and another customer tutting and saying "for goodness sake", at my apparent lack of parenting skills and inability to calm the untamable Esther.

Yeah - today I'm referring to my two youngest 'darlings' who, while we were in a sports shop, decided to wait til my back was turned, and both ran away. Out of the shop. Down the road.

Cut to me running after them (i need to wear a sports bra all the time, if I'm going to be really proactive....) and shrieking like a mad woman. I could hear myself and the piercing noise I was making. But I'd had that 5 seconds of fear, not knowing where they were , then finding them, ( albeit running away) and feeling relieved, but unbelievably mad that they put me through that most awful 5 seconds of fear. And then, me grabbing them both by their collars, and chastising and cancelling trips to the pet shop and withdrawing offers of buying sweets, in that low voice, as you're nose to nose. All the while, being annoyed that I'm nowhere near any kind of naughty step, where I can leave them to think about their actions.

Pfft. Until they're all in their 20's, and causing me different kinds of problems, I'm off to see if I can buy a defibrillator on Amazon.  I'll charge it up, using the static created by Esther's hair.